I just got back from a run. It was my long run for the week. The run where I have to push a little harder and the run that I usually am not that excited about. As I was running and feeling my body push itself and become weary, I started reflecting on the recent things I’m learning.

I’m learning a new perspective on my body in the last few months of my life. In January I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and have been undergoing chemo treatments over the past 6 months. I finished treatment a few weeks ago and am now awaiting the appointment where I will hopefully hear that I am cancer free! 

There have been many times on this journey where I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself. I mean, the most apparent thing was the loss of my hair. A few weeks after that I started losing my eyebrows. During chemo weeks, I could see the darkening around my eyes, the weariness seen throughout my body, and the extra weight I had put on from the steroids I received every other week along with chemo. I knew from the beginning of this year that I was going to have to start speaking daily affirmations to myself and to my body if I was going to make it through this, and these affirmations are what I want to share with you today. 

I decided a few weeks before my last chemo that I wanted to pick up running again. And by again, I mean I haven’t really run since running laps around the gym in 6th grade. It just seemed like such a great way to reconnect with my body after all this chaos that has been going on with my body; lots of drugs and lots of bodily trauma. As I have been running I have noticed these truths; the body can be pushed, the body deserves grace, and the body is good. 

The body can be pushed. I have loved the new things I have learned about how my body can be pushed. There are things that I never knew I could do. I never knew that my body's white blood cell count could pick back up so quickly or that my body could fight back chaotic symptoms week after week after week. I have seen birthing mothers realize this as they look to their partner in between contractions and say “I can’t do this”, but then they pick up a second wind and realize that they can! Your body can be pushed! What a beautiful thing.

The body deserves grace. How often do we give our bodies the grace that it needs? I have loved to push myself on my runs, but I just finished chemo. I need to stop a LOT during my runs and say to myself, “body, you deserve the rest”. How do you thank yourself for the things your body does for you? How are you resting your body? We see this in the birth experience. The body gives us natural rest and grace during contractions (praise God). Some women even experience a rest period around 9cm dilation that can last for up to an hour. We get to rest our bodies; embrace it. Your body deserves grace. 

Lastly, the body is good. This has been the toughest truth to learn. As I look in the mirror and see all the changes and hardly recognize myself, do I still believe that my body is good? How I answer this question deeply affects how I push myself and how I give my body grace. It affects my run and the way I connect with my body. I have seen women who have done the work to see their bodies as good. Their birth experience is a holy and a set apart experience because of the way they view their body. Your body is good. 

I am glad to take these affirmations with me into the next season ahead. May they be an encouragement to you wherever you find yourself right now.